I have nothing left

Blue Nude, 1902 by Pablo Picasso

I am exhausted.

For two years, we’ve faced a constant assault on our nation’s values, our democratic institutions, and our fellow citizens, especially the most vulnerable among us. Along with the rest of the country, I have watched as:

  • in the deadliest act of Antisemitism in American history, eleven innocent members of a Pittsburgh synagogue were gunned down during their service. And then we saw our president and his mouthpieces blame the media, and late night TV, and “unfunny” comedians for the carnage.
  • fourteen pipe bombs were mailed to prominent liberals deemed “enemies” of the current regime. Half of the American population was convinced that the bombs were part of a plot by liberals to make conservatives look bad ahead of the elections.
  • a caravan of hopeless, desperate people seeking refuge from crime and poverty in South America makes its way towards our southern border. These poor people, mostly women and children and young able-bodied men looking for work, are causing such terror in the hearts of Americans that good Christians are actually praying that God will send a hurricane and blow them all into oblivion.
  • a Washington Post journalist was gruesomely dismembered and then murdered by the Saudis and our president has accepted the Saudi explanation that it was an accident that happened during a fistfight and has not officially condemned the act.
  • a man who was credibly accused of sexual assault was sworn in as a Supreme Court Justice after his accuser who bravely came forward to speak her truth was mocked and derided. The sham of an investigation that was conducted only after a national outcry took less than a week and interviewed a total of four people which included neither the accused nor the accuser.
  • our Congressional leaders have vowed to cut Medicare and Social Security to make up for the trillion-dollar deficits caused by their massive giveaway to wealthy donors.
  • the administration has promised to roll back civil rights protections for transgender individuals.
  • and in the face of all of this, the president continues to holds rallies where he fans the flames of hatred and spews lies and conspiracy theories at an alarming and ever-increasing rate.

And all of that has happened in the month of October.

There is one week left until the election, and I have said “Vote!” so many times I can’t even count. I’ve helped people register. I’ve shown people how to check to make sure that their registration is up to date and that they have not been removed from the voting rolls. I’ve helped people find their polling place. I’ve encouraged early voting where possible. I hope I’ve helped people see the importance of voting not just in this election, but in all elections.

But sadly, I don’t believe that a Blue Wave will come and wash us clean. No loud, clear message will be sent next week that Americans will not — DO NOT accept what is happening to our country. In fact, Trump’s approvals are at a near all-time high. For every person who is weeping for our once-great nation, there is another whose heart swells at the thought that we are on the path to becoming Great Again.

Whatever happens on November 6th, we still have two more years left of this presidency. I do not have the strength to endure two more years of this daily onslaught.

When I wake up on November 7th, regardless of the outcome, I feel that I will be so exhausted from the two years that have come before that I will not have one drop of energy left either to weep or cheer.


  1. Living abroad, as I have for 12 years now, I don’t know if I have the right to say, yes, you can go on, you have to go on, but I want to say it anyway. You’re needed. And even when it feels like you don’t, you do make a difference.


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